


One Thing Stays the Same

by SailorChibi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Play, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby!Tony, Crying, Cuddling, Daddy!Steve, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hugging, Infantilism, Little!Tony, Pacifiers, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve wasn't frozen right away, Stuffed Toys, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, and was frozen when Tony was about four years old, he was alive to see Tony's birth, non sexual age play, non sexual infantilism, steve makes up for it, steve was frozen for just under forty years, tony has self esteem issues, tony thinks no one can love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8964181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: "Steve Rogers wakes up after being frozen for forty years to find his favorite godson is now older than him. Being the only living link to his past, Steve eventually reaches out to him, worried he won’t remember him or that Steve’s intruding on his life. Tony shuts that paranoia down immediately."But with non sexual age play.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was heavily inspired by this [tumblr post where Steve is Tony's godfather and he reaches out to Tony after being unfrozen](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/post/154681990670/stonyinspiration-mamalaz-tony-stark-is-steve). One of my friends looked for fics written around that premise and couldn't find any; that's when I said hey, what about an age play version of that? and voila... this fic was born.
> 
> Also, this fic is for anyone who's feeling alone or having a hard time these holidays. All my love to you; may we all have someone to care for us like Steve does for Tony someday soon.

Tony liked to think he would have recognized the voice even without the heads up from Fury (not that he needed a heads up, and frankly he was shocked that Fury had bothered considering that SHIELD was usually all about keeping their secrets as close to the vest as humanly possible. Was this a possible sign of human compassion on Fury’s part? Too scary to contemplate). But honestly, he wasn’t sure that he would have.

It had, after all, been almost forty years.

“Tony – Mr. Stark,” came the voice again, fumbling and awkward and way too shaky. “You probably don’t remember me, but I’m your… I mean…” 

When it trailed off into silence, Tony decided to take pity. “Cap, you know owe me like forty years of birthday presents, right?” And he thanked god that _his_ voice sounded mostly normal. There was no sign of the way that his hands were shaking. 

“It’s only been thirty-eight years. That’s thirty-eight presents.”

Tony smiled in spite of himself. Yup, that was definitely him. “How about thirty-nine?”

Steve laughed, hoarse and like he wasn’t really sure he remembered what it was to laugh, and they made quick arrangements to meet the next morning. Tony hung up and stood there for a moment, staring off into space, remembering the last time he’d seen his godfather. He’d been pretty young at the time, only four years old, and honestly what he remembered best was how much he’d cried when Aunt Peggy told him that Captain America’s plane had gone down.

He shut down his projects, walked out the door, got into his favorite car and drove to SHIELD.

Meeting Steve again should have been weird. He would be exactly the way that Tony remembered, but Tony couldn’t have been more different. As he stood in the conference room, waiting for Steve to be brought in, he started wondering if he’d made the wrong choice. Maybe he should have turned Steve down. Maybe it would’ve been better to cut this off at the pass before Steve figured out what a terrible person his godson had turned into.

But then the door swung open and Steve shuffled in. His eyes were overly bright already, and grew brighter still as he stood in the doorway and stared at Tony. Tony tried to smile, but it was like seeing Steve threw every mask and shield Tony had ever worn or built around his heart straight out the window. He was left feeling completely wrong-footed and he didn’t really know what to do or say.

Steve solved the problem; in a handful of long steps, he crossed the floor and swept Tony into such an exuberant hug that Tony’s feet actually left the ground by a couple inches. Tony tensed instinctively (because the only person who ever touched him like this now was Rhodey) but Steve gave a choked sob and a huge hand came up to cradle the back of his head, and it was just like Tony remembered and his body was relaxing before he really knew what he was doing.

“Oh god,” Steve was saying in his ear, “Oh Tony, sweetheart – _thank god_.”

Tony’s eyes burned with tears, and that was when he really should’ve realized just what a huge problem he had on his hands, but he was a little preoccupied with wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and hugging his godfather back.

Steve hugged him for a long time, and even when he finally let Tony go it was like he didn’t want to stop touching. He set a hand on Tony’s knee while they talked, and moved close enough for their arms to brush when Steve walked him down to the door. He hugged Tony again before Tony left, and it was that tight, all-encompassing hug that had haunted Tony’s dreams for years. He didn’t want it to ever stop.

 _That’s_ when it hit him that he had a problem.

It didn't matter. Tony wouldn't let it matter. He drove home that night and took the elevator up to the penthouse; he had JARVIS check repeatedly to make sure that one particular door was still locked and undisturbed, and then he sat down on the couch with a glass of whiskey and stared out the window while he sipped at it. For once, the alcohol didn't taste that good. He would've preferred something else - something that he wasn't going to allow himself to have, not now. Not when there was so much at stake and one wrong move would be enough to bring it all down around Tony's feet.

Not when Steve was back, and the Avengers Initiative was forming. Not when he and Pepper were feeling their way back through friendship after a failed romance. Not when Stark Industries was finally rebounding, doing extraordinarily well with Pepper at its helm. Tony couldn't afford for anyone to find out his deepest, dirtiest secret, and so he decided at that moment that he would never indulge himself again. That part of his life had to be over, and he would pretend that it had never happened. 

In particular, Steve was never to know.

Tony stayed on the couch for so long, watching New York and feeling increasingly exhausted in ways that sleep couldn't help, that he actually did end up falling asleep. He woke up the next morning when the couch shifted beside him. He jolted awake, instantly aware, as a hand plucked the shot glass out of his grasp, and he was half-ready to summon the armor before the person beside him finally spoke.

"Whiskey, huh? That was Howard's preferred drink too."

"I know," Tony said, relaxing a little at the sound of Steve's voice. He had a vague memory of telling JARVIS that Steve could have any access to the tower that he wanted. Because it was Steve. He just hadn't expected Steve to show up the very next morning.

"Yeah, I bet you do," Steve said, looking down at the glass with a funny expression on his face.

"I do. Dad gave me a drink when I was six. Said it would stop me from being such a whiny baby." Tony heard the words coming out and couldn't stop them. He immediately regretted his big mouth when he saw the way that Steve looked at him. 

"He what?" Steve demanded. 

"It's not a big deal," Tony said quickly, standing up. "So, you want a tour?"

Steve was still frowning, but he seemed willing to accept the change of subject. "A tour? Sure." He looked around the room. "Is all of it... like this?"

"What, grand and ostentatious and extravagant?" Tony laughed humorlessly. "Absolutely."

Steve smiled at him, but it didn't reach his eyes. Feeling uncomfortable, Tony quickly showed him around the penthouse before leading him to the elevator, anxious to show Steve his workshop. From what he recalled, Steve had always professed an interest in Howard's creations. He was pretty sure that Steve would adore the workshop and, more importantly, Tony's inventions. He just wanted to show Steve _something_ worthwhile.

From the way that Steve's eyes lit up when he saw Dummy, he succeeded.

"Tony, this is amazing," Steve said twenty minutes later, watching the holograms spin around Tony. He was sitting on the couch shoved into the corner, petting Dummy with one hand and Butterfingers with the other.

"It is pretty cool," Tony said, not even attempting to be modest. "Feel free to look around. I just have a couple of things to look after."

He lost track of Steve after that - stupid on his part, but that was always how he was when he got into the workshop - and was only really reminded of Steve's presence when Steve asked, "You have a baby?"

The word 'baby' made Tony's heart skip a couple of beats. His head snapped up. "Baby? What?"

Steve picked up something from one of the tables. Tony froze at the sight of the bright green pacifier. It was old, obviously well-used from the teeth marks, which were visible even through the smears of oil. Clearly, Dummy had knocked over the oil can again. The pacifier swung gently from Steve's index finger, and Tony couldn't think of a single word to say.

"Tony?" Steve asked when the silence stretched too long. 

"No," Tony blurted out. "I don't - no, no kids, not me. God no."

"Oh." Steve looked down at the pacifier.

"I, uh, was running an experiment," Tony lied, grabbing the pacifier away. He hoped, maybe a little too desperately, that Steve had not noticed that the pacifier was much too large for an actual baby. "I can't even remember what I was working on now, but I must have forgotten to throw it out." He tossed the pacifier at the garbage can.

"I see." Steve smiled then, a real one that immediately made Tony's nerves settle. "I'm starving. Can we grab lunch?"

"Absolutely," Tony said. Maybe he hadn't fucked up. Not yet, anyway.

From that day on, Steve showed up to the tower every single morning. He didn't seem to like spending time at SHIELD - which, fair enough, that sounded like hell on Earth. Sometimes he was accompanied by a SHIELD agent (Natasha smiled very sweetly and waved the first time Tony saw her again. The only good part about her presence was that Steve picked up on the tension and very deliberately moved between her and Tony, pointedly staring her down. Tony didn't really need the protection, but the frown on Natasha's face more than made it worthwhile) and sometimes he showed up alone.

The weird thing was, he seemed content so long as he was around Tony. It didn't seem to matter what Tony was doing. And it wasn't awkward, like Tony thought it might be to have his godfather hanging around - and not having much alone time meant that Tony wasn't _tempted_. Though that in itself was hard, much as Tony hated to admit it, because he was used to being able to indulge every couple of weeks, and now he just couldn't for fear that Steve might find out.

And admittedly, because of that, there were a couple of awkward moments. Once, Steve knocked on his bedroom door and then started to open it. Tony, after a bad night wherein he'd wet the bed after nightmares, twisted his ankle in his haste to get up and stop Steve from coming in, and then Steve spent much of the day fussing over him like Tony was an invalid. And then there was the time that Steve unearthed an old teddy bear from under one of the cushions on the couch. 

He held it in his hands for a few seconds while Tony tried desperately to think of an explanation that wasn't the truth, which was that the bear had ended up there the last time Tony gave into temptation, and then Steve said, "You used to have one just like this when you were a kid."

"I know," Tony said stiffly. He'd scoured the world to find this exact bear not long after he returned from Afghanistan. It had cost a fortune. But he didn't care. 

"Is this the same one?" Steve wanted to know.

"No." Tony moved closer, gently plucking the bear from Steve's hands. The dark brown fur was worn and patchy now, and the silken red ribbon around its neck was fading. He spoke to the bear. "Howard threw it out not long after you crashed."

"Tony..." Steve started to stand up. Tony ducked out of reach.

"Dinner?" he suggested, too brightly, but at least Steve nodded in agreement. Tony stashed the bear away, hopefully forgotten, and took Steve to the best pasta place in New York. He even let Steve drive, offering him the key to a motorcycle, and the bright, excited grin on Steve's face when they arrived was well worth the heart attacks that Tony gained on the way.

During the meal, while Steve was still working on his second plate of pasta, Tony reclined in his chair and looked at Steve over the top of his sunglasses. "I see SHIELD has been talking to you about the Avengers Initiative, huh? You ready to pick up the shield again?"

"I think so? From the file that Fury handed me last night, I'm not sure I have much choice."

"Right. The file." Tony wondered exactly what information Steve had been given. It would've been relatively easy to find out, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know just how much Steve knew about his past. Everything was out there on the internet if Steve wanted to find it: the women, the sex, the parties, the alcohol, the weapons, the betrayal, the kidnapping. Beyond the big secret, Tony wasn't even sure what he most wanted to hide.

"Are you ready?" Steve asked. "I hear you're Iron Man now."

Tony smiled. "I was born ready."

That was a flat-out lie. No one could ever be ready to see what Tony saw: to see the emptiness dominated by those enormous ships, far larger than anything had the right to be. He didn't remember falling back to earth. He would never forget Steve scooping him up, just plucking up right off the ground and crushing Tony in a desperate hug, then cradling Tony on his lap and struggling to hold back a flurry of terrified, relieved sobs. Thor and the Hulk both looked away, apparently willing to give Steve a few moments of privacy. Tony just sat there, too numb to respond.

Clean-up was messy; the top levels of the tower was destroyed, and Steve was sticking to Tony like glue, so that meant there was a reasonable conclusion to draw. Or at least, it seemed like it made sense right up until Tony actually pulled up in front of the old Stark mansion a couple of weeks after the invasion and he and Steve got out of the car. His stomach was churning at the thought of going back inside. He hadn't been in there since the day after Howard's and Maria's funeral, when he walked out and vowed that he'd never come back.

It still looked the same. Of course it did. Stane had hired staff to keep the place looking presentable, and no one would have changed anything without Tony's permission. Since then, the mansion had been rented for a handful of very prestigious events, but beyond that it had lain quiet and empty. Walking through the front door was a little like going through a time warp in the most tasteful, worst ways.

"It hasn't changed," Steve said, sounding a little stunned.

"I know," Tony said, and he wasn't sure whether he'd be getting really drunk or giving into the worse temptation tonight, but it would be one of them - or both, at this rate. At least he didn't have to worry about running into anyone else in the house, since Pepper had made sure that all of Stark Industries staff had the next two weeks off with full pay. 

He showed Steve one of the guest bedrooms - probably the same room that Steve had stayed in forty years ago - and then found another guest room for himself, because there was no way he was sleeping in either the master bedroom or his old bedroom. And then, with the door safely shut, he sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. He breathed deep for a couple of minutes.

He didn't have any of his toys here. His teddy bear had probably been destroyed. The thought of his bear - the closest thing he had to the bear that Aunt Peggy had given him, before Captain America crashed and Agent Peggy Carter became the head of the S.S.R. - being ripped apart by an explosion was what going to him. Tears pricked his eyes and he shuddered, his next breath more of a sob.

And of course, Steve picked that moment to knock on the door. "Tony?"

"Go away," Tony said without lifting his head.

"I just wanted to ask -"

"Go away!" Tony yelled. He sounded reasonably calm, he thought, but then his voice cracked on the last syllable.

There was a long silence.

"Tony, sweetheart, open the door."

Steve hadn't called him 'sweetheart' since the day they were reunited. Tony moved numbly, unlocking the door and opening it. He looked up at Steve's serious face, knowing that his own expression was clear and that there was no sign of whatever was going through his mind right now. They stared at each for at least thirty seconds, and all Tony could think was that Steve would never know, and that was a comfort.

Right up until Steve said, very gently, "I know about your age play."

The world screeched to a stop. Tony couldn't breathe. 

"I got curious one day when you were out at meetings, so I thought I'd explore the tower. JARVIS told me I had access to everything, so when I found that locked door and he unlocked it, I didn't even think..." Steve chewed his lower lip, clearly anxious. "I'm sorry I invaded your privacy like that. I didn't understand, so JARVIS showed me a bunch of stuff on the internet."

"You... what?" Tony croaked, mind spinning. The access. Shit. He'd given Steve full access to the tower without even thinking about it. Not even Pepper had that level.

"It was a little strange at first," Steve went on. "But then, most of the things I've learned about the future seemed strange."

That was probably a kind word for something that most people would find disgusting. Tony was tense all over, ready for the moment that Steve would throw scorn in his face. Because there was no way that Steve wouldn't find this weird, and it would probably only be a matter of time before Steve connected everything else: the nights that Tony had fallen asleep leaning against him on the couch, the way he showed off for Steve to get that smile of approval, the pacifier and the teddy bear.

It all added up to Tony's deepest desire: to have his godfather's love now just as much as he had when he was a real child. 

No. It all added up to the fact that Steve was going to hate him. Because Steve knew about everything else - the drinks, the partying, the people who'd died because of Tony - and this would surely be the straw that broke the camel's back and tipped Steve off the edge. Tony squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the look of hatred and disgust that would cross Steve's face.

"And I'm so glad."

Wait. What?

"This world is so different. No one really needs me anymore, despite what SHIELD says. Besides Peggy, you're the only connection left to my past. And this... I want to share it with you, Tony, if you'd let me. Even if I could just... sit beside you while you played, the way I used to, that would be enough."

Tony opened his eyes and stared.

"I know it's a lot to ask. And I wasn't really sure how to bring it up. I just..." Steve trailed off and looked very earnest. "Do you think you'd be okay with that?"

"How..." Tony said. "How did you... I mean, you got curious?"

"Tony, sweetheart, you're not subtle. Not to me."

Even after all this time, Steve could still see straight through him. It was like a shot to the chest. Tony had kept this secret for close to ten years, and in the span of three months Steve had figured it out. He'd always had a hard time hiding things from Steve when he was a kid, but he'd thought that might have changed. Apparently not.

Tony did the only thing he could think of.

He ran.

He ducked under Steve's arm and took off down the hallway while Steve was sputtering in surprise. Instinct kicked in and guided him through the halls, down the stairs and into the library. It was a large room, and the way it had been built left some alcoves. Tony threw himself into the largest one; it was a tight squeeze, but there was enough space for him to sit on the floor with his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face.

Then the tears came.

\-----------

Steve had fucked up.

He hadn't meant to. He'd been thinking about this for weeks, trying to figure out the best way to approach Tony. Because the more that Steve thought about it, the more he liked the idea of being able to take care of Tony the way he used to. It had never been easy, but it was one of the most rewarding things that Steve had ever done in his life - and he wanted to do it again with a desperation that surprised him in its intensity.

"I'm an idiot," he muttered under his breath, hurrying after Tony. He remembered chasing after a distraught toddler more than once while visiting the Stark family. Most of Tony's hiding spots would be too small now, but there were a couple that Tony would still be able to fit into. 

Tony wouldn't come out right away, either. Steve stopped in Tony's old bedroom, taking a quick look around. But all of the childish things that he remembered were gone - of course they were. From what Peggy had said, Howard had forced Tony to grow up way before he should have. He leaned against the doorframe for a moment, comparing the room in front of him to the room that he remembered. It looked so stark and cold now.

There might be something hidden away in the attic, but Steve didn't want to take the time to go look for it. He got to the bottom of the stairs and listened for a moment. The faint sound of sobbing reached his ears. He followed it and finally turned into the library.

He moved closer to the spot where he now knew Tony was hidden and peeked inside. His heart broke at the sight of Tony, curled up and sobbing as though his world was ending. Steve closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself against the urge to yank Tony out of the alcove and cuddle him. He knew better than that; it was _always_ better to let Tony come out by himself. Trying to pry him out by force had never ended well.

He was quiet for several minutes, just letting Tony cry, hoping that his presence would be enough to coax Tony out. But Tony didn't move any closer, didn't even lift his head to acknowledge Steve at all, and finally Steve couldn't take it anymore. He leaned forward a little and spoke very softly.

"Hey baby."

Tony flinched at the sound of his voice, and Steve _ached_ from head to toe. He never wanted Tony to feel afraid of him. That wasn't his intention at all. 

Now wasn't the time for him to get frustrated at himself or the life (or the people) that Tony had grown up with. He had to focus on Tony. He glanced back into the alcove and tried to think about how best to handle the situation. Tony wasn't a toddler anymore - except he kind of was, if he was in his headspace. And Steve only knew one thing that had ever comforted his godson when he was this upset.

"It's okay. You're still my favorite godson."

If Steve was expecting that to make things better, he had another thought coming. Tony began to sob even harder, bawling really, shaking from head to toe. That definitely crossed a line in Steve's book. His baby was crying and he needed to do something about it.

He got as close to the alcove as he could and stretched his hands inside until he could wrap his hands around Tony's upper arms. Tony offered no resistance, allowing himself to be drawn carefully out of the alcove. He collapsed into Steve's arms. Steve pulled him in, cradling Tony in his lap just the way he had after Tony fell from the wormhole, only this time the Iron Man armor wasn't in the way.

"Shhh, baby boy, you're okay. It's okay," Steve murmured, not even sure that Tony could hear his words over his wailing. How long had it been since anyone had hugged Tony like this?

He squeezed Tony a little tighter, remembering what Peggy had told him. After Steve's plane had crashed, she'd barely been permitted to see Tony. Apparently Tony's reaction to Steve's disappearance - devestated was the word Peggy had used, her voice fragile and shaking at the memory - had pushed Howard over the edge, and he'd made the decision that Tony needed to shape up and stop acting like a child.

From that moment on, Peggy had barely seen the boy. Of course, the S.S.R. had sucked up a huge portion of her time, but even when she was in New York the moments where she got to see Tony were few and far between. And when she did see him, Tony was like a different boy. He was quieter and withdrawn, no longer the bright-eyed, affectionate toddler that had stolen hers and Steve's hearts. By the time Tony was eight, he'd been shipped off to boarding school.

Keeping all that in mind, Steve had tried to exercise caution with this version of Tony Stark. Peggy had warned him extensively to treat Tony like an adult, and Steve had done his best to take her words of caution to heart. The last thing he wanted was to alienate Tony in any way, and he had the feeling that it would be extremely easy to do that. 

But that was difficult, to say the least. Sometimes Tony would look up at him, and the expression on his face... it was the same baby that Steve had left behind all those years ago, and Steve would have to stop himself from scooping Tony up and protecting him from the horrors of the world. Because Tony had already suffered far too many of them, as far as Steve was concerned, considering what he'd read in Tony's file about Afghanistan and Obadiah Stane.

Steve could remember him, too. He wished now that he'd punched Stane in the face and warned him away from Tony when he'd had the chance.

Finding out about the age play was surprising, but at the same time it made a certain amount of sense. Tony had been forced to grow up way too fast, so it was no wonder he was trying to recoup a little of the childhood he'd missed out on. And Steve wanted to be a part of that more than anything. Standing in that room, looking at the pacifiers and the bottles and the toys that Tony had so carefully hidden away out of fear of rejection, he wanted to share it. He wanted to take care of his godson.

And now he had his chance.

He slipped his arms under Tony's body and started to shift, intending to stand with Tony in his arms. But Tony's wails abruptly cut off, and Tony grabbed onto him with surprising force.

"Dada, no!"

Steve froze. His heart melted. Dada? He'd never heard Tony call anyone that before, not even Howard. He hadn't expected that, but - 

"I'm not leaving you, sweetheart," he said soothingly, slowly climbing to his feet. He brought Tony with him, easily supporting Tony's full weight. "Dada's right here with you."

"Dada," Tony whimpered, big brown eyes full of tears. He was definitely in his headspace, clinging to Steve like he thought Steve was going to set him down on the floor and walk out.

As though there was even a chance that was going to happen. Steve cuddled him, pressing a kiss to Tony's damp cheek. "It's been a long day and I bet my baby boy is tired," he murmured, walking out of the library. "I think it's probably time for bedtime."

"Captain Rogers, if I may."

Steve jumped and Tony burst into fresh tears. He shushed the baby, looking around in confusion. He knew for a fact that it had been a long time since Tony had come back to the mansion, which meant that he'd never installed JARVIS in the building. And yet, Steve could hear JARVIS's voice clear as though the A.I. was in the same room. It took him a moment to figure out that the familiar voice was coming from his cell phone.

"Yes, JARVIS?" he asked, supporting Tony with one arm and pulling his phone out of his pocket with the other. It was lit up with a call, which had to be JARVIS's doing. Once again, Steve couldn't help thinking about how amazingly talented his godson really was. It blew anything Howard had ever done out of the water.

"I monitor Sir's vitals at all times. When Sir slipped into his headspace, I took the liberty of ordering a small shipment of necessaries and requesting that they be delivered immediately to your address. I recommend that young Sir be diapered before you take him to bed."

"No," Tony whined. "No, Dada."

"Shh," Steve said absently. JARVIS was astonishing sometimes. "Thanks, JARVIS."

"My pleasure, Captain."

Steve detoured down to the front door. Sure enough, there was a small package sitting on the doorstep. He grabbed it and shut the door, hurrying back up the steps. He walked into the guest bedroom that Tony had shown him before and sat down on the bed, prying open the box. Inside, he found a ten pack of diapers, diaper cream, a box of wipes, a three pack of sterilized bottles, two new pacifiers, and an adorable stuffed black and white panda toy. 

"Right," Steve said to himself. This, he could do.

He pried Tony off his neck, murmuring reassurances when Tony began to cry again, and took the panda out of the box. "Hey. Hey, darlin', look at this."

Tony's watery eyes focused on the toy. He held up a hand, touching the panda tentatively, then looked at Steve with so much uncertainty in his face that Steve wanted to go back in time and punch Howard, too. He kept any signs of frustration or anger off his face, though, instead smiling.

"Go ahead. It's for you. There you go." He laid the panda against Tony's chest, and Tony grabbed onto it immediately, clutching it tightly. Tears were still sliding down his face, but he was otherwise quiet. Just to be sure, Steve picked up one of the pacifiers and pressed it to his mouth. Just like always, Tony opened his mouth and let the pacifier slide in. 

"That's my godson," Steve muttered. With Tony suitably distracted, he pulled the t-shirt Tony was wearing off. He didn't linger at the sight of the arc reactor but kept moving, unbuttoning Tony's jeans and pulling them and his boxers off until Tony was naked on the bed. 

To Steve, it had only been a couple of years since he'd last changed Tony's diaper, and he could still hear Edwin Jarvis's voice in his head telling him what to do. He grabbed Tony's thighs and lifted him up until he could slip a diaper under Tony's bottom, then lowered Tony back to the bed and pushed his thighs apart. He pulled the front of the diaper up between Tony's thighs and, after a quick perusal of the packaging for instructions, smoothed the plastic adhesive straps into place.

"Now you're ready for bed," he said. Tony blinked at him, eyes still wet with tears. 

Steve sighed. "I think we're both ready. C'mere, champ." He picked Tony up and pushed the covers of the bed down; he had no pajamas for Tony to sleep in, but he figured just a diaper would do. He set Tony down on the sheets and took off his own shirt and jeans, sliding under the covers in just his boxers. He pulled Tony back into his arms, cuddling the baby close. 

It took a long time for Tony to drop off to sleep; Steve rubbed his back and hummed softly and did everything he could think of to help, short of getting up for a bottle of water - which he didn't only because he thought it might upset Tony too much. Eventually exhaustion took over and Tony did drift off. Steve stayed awake for a long time, watching him and thinking, before he fell asleep too.

The feeling of someone struggling against him woke him up. Instinctively, he tightened his grip and heard a whimpered moan. The unmistakable sound of someone peeing reached his ears, and he realized that Tony had been trying to slip out of Steve's arms, probably to use the bathroom. Steve had been holding him in exactly the wrong spot. He opened his eyes and spotted Tony's flushed, embarrassed face just a few inches away. Tony, realizing Steve was awake, began squirming even harder.

"Let go!" he burst out, frustrated.

"No," Steve said simply. "Tony, listen to me. I don't find you disgusting or weird or whatever else is going through your head. I don't hate you. I love you. I've always loved you. You're my godson."

Tony's squirming slowed, though it didn't stop completely. Not because of Steve's words, but because he seemed to realize that there was just no way he was going anywhere until Steve decided that he was.

"I accept you. I accept this. I want to be a part of it. I want to be there for you, if you'll let me." He lowered his head, pressing his forehead to Tony's. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, sweetheart. I'll regret that until the day I die. But I'd like to make up for some of my absence."

Tony was quiet for a long time. He had that look on his face that meant he was thinking hard. Finally, he mumbled, "But it's gross."

Steve chuckled. "I changed your diapers for almost three years. I was there when Jarvis was trying to potty train you. To me, that was less than two years ago. It's not gross to me. I'm used to it."

"It's not the same."

"It is in all the ways that matter," Steve said quietly. "Everything else is different. But this isn't. You needing all the love and affection I can muster - _that's_ still the same, and you have no idea how much that means to me, finding something that hasn't changed." He paused, then added, "Actually, it's better, because now I don't have to listen to your father muttering about how you being coddled won't make you a 'real man'."

Tony snorted. "He did love to say that."

"I bet he did," Steve mumbled. Someday, he was going to sit Tony down and find out all the details about Tony's childhood that even Peggy wasn't privy to. And then he was going to figure out a way to go back in time so that he could demand to know what the hell Howard was thinking.

He looked down at Tony again. "You don't have to be alone anymore if you don't want to be."

"Steve -"

"It's not just about you. I don't want to be alone anymore either."

There. It was out. And Tony looked shocked.

"You're not alone, Cap! I'm here."

"I know. And I love you so much." Steve had to take a deep breath to keep his composure. He wanted this so badly, but he didn't want Tony to feel pressured. This had been Tony's secret for a long time, and it was his decision as to who he wanted to share it with. If anyone. As it was, Steve had destroyed his privacy, however accidentally. He opened his mouth to apologize for that, but Tony cut him off.

"Okay."

"What... really?"

Tony nodded, lowering his eyes almost shyly. "It's hard to get used to," he muttered. "But I missed you. I used to think about... about you, and this. So I won't say no if you're sure."

"I'm completely sure," Steve said immediately, feeling a rush of relief so potent it left him dizzy. He hugged Tony. "Thank you."

"I should be thanking you," Tony said, and Steve shook his head. He could tell that Tony had no idea what this meant to him, to have something so valuable and cherished offered up on a silver platter, but that was okay. Someday Steve would figure out how to get the message across.

"You need to be changed," he said, ignoring the way that Tony turned a dull red. "And then I think it's time for breakfast."

"I'm fine. No change necessary," Tony said quickly.

"I didn't believe that when you were a toddler and I don't believe it now," Steve said, amused. In spite of Tony's protests - it was _adorable_ how flustered Tony got during the diaper change, even going so far as to hide his face behind the panda when Steve removed the wet diaper - Steve got him into a fresh diaper and then scooped him up.

"You want a baba, baby boy?" he asked. It had been a long time since he'd given Tony a bottle, and suddenly that was what he wanted more than anything else in a world.

"Baba?" Tony repeated, sticking his thumb in his mouth. His next words came out garbled. "Baba, Daddy?"

Daddy. It wasn't as cute as Dada, but he had the feeling Tony would fluctuate depending on how young he felt; either way, Steve would take it. He smoothed his hand over Tony's head, feeling at peace for the first time since he'd woken up. "Yeah. Daddy's gonna get you your baba."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


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